Limbaugh calls a private citizen a ‘slut’ and ‘prostitute’ based on his own lies and isn’t removed from the public airwaves (accessible to kids, BTW) for even a day; Gary Trudeau tells the truth about the appalling state-ordered transvaginal probe laws that Republicans are passing and he’s censored by some of the newspapers that regularly run his strip “Doonesbury.” No wonder newspapers are going out of business. But, then, so is Rush.
H/T to Susan Miller and Mike Anderson.
What’s that joke about Alabama keeping last-in-the-nation-in-nearly-everything Mississippi around to make itself feel better? Here’s the truth behind that little jape. Try to refrain from slapping your forehead too often and giving yourself a splitting headache. From the March 9, 2012 edition of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher”:
H/T to Scott Wendt.
Some bad Mississippi jokes:
Q: Hear about the Mississippi man who lost $100 on a football game?
A: He lost $50 on the game and $50 on the instant replay!
Q: Did you hear that M&M candy had to move its plant out of MS?
A: The Mississippi workers kept throwing out all the ‘W’s’.
Q: Did you hear about the Mississippian who won a Gold Medal at the Olympic Games?
A: He was so proud of it he had it bronzed!
Q: Why aren’t there many pharmacists in MS?
A: They can’t figure out how to put the medicine bottles in the printer!
Q. What is the definition of safe sex down in Mississippi?
A. Putting a warning sign on the horses that kick.
Q: How do they castrate a man in Mississippi?
A: They smack his sister in the jaw.
Q: What is 100 yards long and has six teeth?
A: The Mississippi state legislature.
Q: What did the daughter call her Mississippi sheepherder father?
A: Daaaaaaaaaaaady.
Q: Why was the MS intellectual proud of finishing a jigsaw puzzle in one year?
A: The box said ‘six years and up.’
Q: What do Mississippians say when encountering a vicious racist?
A: “Howdy, neighbor!”
Mark Knopfler’s guitar work on the original is liquid gold, and he also wrote the tune.
H/T to Kym Thomas.
Three economists and three pollsters were going on a trip by train from Washington, DC to Chicago. Before the journey, the pollsters purchased three tickets but the economists only bought one. The pollsters were glad their stupid colleagues were going to be kicked off the train. However, when they saw the conductor approaching their compartment, all three economists quickly went to the nearest lavatory.
When the conductor arrived, he noticed that someone was in the toilet and knocked on the door. “Ticket, please,” he called out. In reply, the door opened slightly and a hand with one ticket emerged. He took it, assuming only one passenger was in the lavatory, and the three economists saved the cost of two tickets.
On the return trip, the pollsters decided to use the same strategy — they bought only one ticket, but the economists did not buy any tickets at all! When the pollsters saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking and “Ticket, please,” they handed over the ticket just as the economists had, but they didn’t get it back.
What happened to the ticket? The economists grabbed it and went to another lavatory.
Meanwhile, as the economists and pollsters were playing their little train games, Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News, was landing in Washington, DC, comfortably finishing a bottle of expensive champagne in the First Class compartment of a wide-body jet, the flight paid for by News Corp.
Moral: Only poor people in the entertainment business take the train.
As appropriate as it is, there just aren’t enough creepy dating sites to pay off Limbaugh’s four-year $400 million contract. Since his major national advertisers are gone, along with a good portion of the local ads, does he seriously think small-change advertisers like AshleyMadison.com will sustain him? Moreover, is he deluded enough to believe Clear Channel/Premiere Networks will continue to pay him a $100 million annually when his show only earns a small fraction of that in ad revenue? I wonder if Rush will still insist “Everything’s cool” and there is no problem on Monday’s show, as he did last week. Or will he just whistle — you know, like past a graveyard.
Rush Limbaugh’s Show Now Attracting Creepy Dating Sites
by Jess Dweck
indecisionforever.com
Mar 8, 2012Ever since Rush Limbaugh’s infamous “slut” comment, sponsors have been fleeing the show faster than Rush running from a pill-sniffing dog. At this point, he’s so used to people pulling out, it’s no wonder he thinks free birth control is unnecessary.
Despite speculation, the right-wing radio blowhard insists that business is booming…
Limbaugh, citing claims he had lost 28 sponsors [now 98], said that is “out of 18,000. That’s like losing a couple of french fries in the container when it’s delivered to you in the drive thru.”
Fortunately for Rush, there’s still one kind of business that doesn’t mind advertising on his show – creepy dating websites…
[W]hile AOL and Allstate headline the more than 20 advertisers [now 98] heading for the exits, at least two new would-be sponsors — matchmaking sites SeekingArrangements.com (pairing sugar daddies and sugar babies) and AshleyMadison.com (for adulterers) — are vying to fill that vacuum…
“Advertising on Rush seems to be the logical move, he’s actually a sugar daddy,” Seeking Arrangements founder and CEO Brandon Wade told the Daily Beast…
“[E]ven though a lot of Republicans are not willing to say they embody the sugar-daddy lifestyle,” many in fact do, he said, claiming that 60 percent of the site’s male members say they are Republicans… Noel Biderman, the CEO of AshleyMadison.com offered a less contorted explanation… “I know my audience listens to Rush Limbaugh.”
So, companies that cater to adulterers and sugar daddies want to advertise on the radio show of a thrice-married cradle robber. That’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?
“Sugar daddy” is definitely a term that comes to mind when thinking of Rush Limbaugh. Not because he’s married to a woman half his age, but because he looks like he has a raging case of diabetes.
Read it here.
