Video: Rubio Needs a TelePrompter

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) has criticized President Obama in the past for making speeches using a TelePrompter but, judging by this video clip, he needs one himself. (Besides, really, what’s the difference between reading your speech off of paper or reading off of a TelePrompter?) Hint to possible Romney VP Rubio: in a Veep debate, you won’t be reading a speech off of anything, so you’d better be able to outline your ideas extemporaneously. Oh, and winking isn’t going to work any better than it did the last time.

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Today’s Music: Charlie Musselwhite’s South Side Blues Band, “River Hip Mama” (2009)

Never heard of bluesman Charlie Musselwhite? Learn more here while you listen to him live at the 2009 Chicago Blues Fest.

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Mitt’s ‘Hoof-in-Mouth’ Disease Must be Contagious

Posted in 2012 Election, Bizarre But Real, Cartoon, Christopublicans, Collagatorial, Conservatives, Humor, Idiots, Republicans, Teabaggers, Wingnuts, WTF? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Cartoons: Randomized Comedy for April 25, 2012

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More On the Continuing GOP War on Women

1. Don’t make these suffragettes suffer even more!

2. And the Republicans claim the war on women is a ridiculous concoction of the ‘liberal’ media. Did the MSM make the GOP vote against equal pay for women?

3. More proof of the GOP War on Women. This should be the new Republican banner:

4. Perhaps even some conservative men will wake up before the next election and side with their mothers, daughters, wives, sisters and friends.

5. Sure, between ‘dressage’ horses, two Cadillacs and luxurious trips to Paris, Ann Romney can empathize with the average working mother — to the extent that she thinks it’s just great they’re working and she has a choice not to.

6. There are some things to criticize Obama for, but this isn’t one of them. From passage of the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act to appointing two women to the Supreme Court to supporting Planned Parenthood, he has clearly sided with women against the GOP assault.

7. This clip-art woman has the right idea. I hope a majority heed her words and vote for Dems, or we’re going to be the United States of Snyder’s Michigan under Romney and a GOP Congress.

8. The GOP really has no plans to help anyone except the rich and privileged, as they’ve proven in various states where they control the government. Worse, they’re cracking down on women with the far-right religious insanity their base demands.

9. Might as well do this as vote for the GOP next November.

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Tell Congress to Reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act

From Think Progress:

Very soon, Congress will vote to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act, legislation that has benefited millions of women and families. Stunningly, many Congressional Republicans are opposing reauthorization of the bill this year and its passage is very much in doubt.

Over a lifetime, nearly one in two women will be victims of sexual violence. The Violence Against Women Act empowers local communities to fight back, providing essential resources to combat domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking.

The law has been an unqualified success. Since its passage in 1994, women killed by an intimate partner have decreased 34%.

But unless Congress reauthorizes the Violence Against Women Act this year, all of this progress could be reversed. The new version of the bill not only continues proven programs, but extends protections to more people, including those in same-sex relationships.

Sign the petition to tell Congress to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act today.

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Today’s Quotes and Video: Bill O’Reilly Hilariously Calls Robert Reich a “Communist”

This is how pathetic and desperate the right-wing has become — they’re recycling old smears from the ‘40s and ‘50s. First there was the reality-challenged Rep Allen West calling between “78 and 81” members of the Democratic Progressive Caucus in the House members of the Communist Party, a crackpot statement he defended later by saying he thinks progressives are Commies, and now Billo the Pun emits this pile of Fox scat casually attacking Clinton’s former Secretary of Labor as a Marxist. As usual with O’Reilly’s half-wit smears, he has no evidence to back up his batty accusation and you can bet Mr. Chicken won’t invite Reich on “The Factor” to respond.

“Robert Reich is a communist who secretly adores Karl Marx.”
— Bill O’Reilly, from “The O’Reilly Factor,” April 20, 2012, as quoted by Media Matters.

“O’Reilly’s accusation isn’t even logical. How can he know if I secretly adore Karl Marx, if it’s a secret?
“For the record, I’m not a communist and I don’t secretly adore Karl Marx.”

— Robert Reich, “Why Anyone Should Care That Bill O’Reilly Calls Me a Communist?” The Huffington Post. April 24, 2012.

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Today’s Quotes: Absurdity Rampant

Incredibly, a woman in New York charged with a single count of ‘promoting prostitution’ is being held in detention for $2 million bail while in Florida, George Zimmerman, who shot unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin dead, has been released on $150,000 bond.

“It’s absurd and absolute hypocrisy…I have absolutely no idea how violent criminals get that kind of bail while my wife sits in Rikers on $2 million bail. […] This is another case I’ll have to try to justify to the kids. They’ll see [Trayvon Martin killer George] Zimmerman get bailed out after being charged with killing a 17-year-old and ask why Mom, who didn’t hurt anyone, can’t get out, too. I have no answers.”
— Kelvin Gorr, husband of Anna Gristina, an accused madam who was charged with a single count of promoting prostitution and is being held for $2 million bond at New York’s Rikers Island, as quoted by the New York Daily News. Zimmerman was released on a $150,000 bond.

Maybe this is the reason for the extreme bail:

“Upstate soccer mom Anna Gristina, in secretly recorded conversations, boasted about her insider informants throughout law enforcement: the NYPD, the DEA, the FBI and ICE, the Daily News has learned.”
— From “Accused Manhattan madam Anna Gristina boasted about her insider informants in NYPD, DEA & FBI,” New York Daily News, March 8, 2012.

That’s right, according to this religious nutcase with a radio show, environmentalists who want cleaner air and water actually hate mankind.

“That’s why I want you to understand that the environmental movement is fundamentally anti-human, it is fundamentally anti-human. And this bears the imprint of the Father of Lies because the Father of Lies, remember hates human beings. Why? Because we are made in the image of God. He wants to stamp out human beings because we remind him God. Well, environmentalists have the same exact agenda: they want to wipe humanity off the face of the globe. Do not be deceived about this; this is the ultimate goal of the environmentalists.”
Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association, as quoted by Justin Rosario in “Destroy All Humans! The Secret Satan Spawned Plot Of Environmentalists (According To The Insane Right Wing),” AddictingInfo.org, April 23, 2012.

But, come one — we have the wealthiest health care executives in the world! What’s more important: your health or some overpaid insurance executive’s bottom line? Unless you’re a dirty socialist, you’ll answer the latter.

“In the UK, an average of about $3,500 is spent on healthcare per person each year. In the United States, an average of about $8,500 is spent on healthcare per person each year.”
— From “40 Weird Facts About the U.S.”

Bukowski knew a thing or two about absurdity:

“The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn’t interest you. This situation so repelled me that I was driven to drink, starvation, and mad females, simply as an alternative.”
— Charles Bukowski, Sunlight Here I Am: Interviews & Encounters 1963-1993, (2003).

And Jefferson, who could be describing today’s Republican Party:

“[M]an, once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and, like a ship without rudder, is the sport of every wind. With such [a] person, gullibility, which they call faith, takes the helm from the hand of reason, and the mind becomes a wreck.”
— Thomas Jefferson, letter to James Smith (1822).

And the last word goes to Voltaire:

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
— Voltaire (1694-1778)

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Study Says Conservatives Have a Bigger Amygdala Than Liberals; Good News for Right-Wingers?

Actually, no, it’s not. As to the short piece below, I know very few liberals who have ‘rosier outlooks’ these days, and most do consider the ‘worst case scenario’ in their musings, although overall I guess most liberals do tend to be more optimistic regarding our future prospects as a species (with some notable exceptions). At least they think social problems can be solved in ways that don’t involve prayer, guns, or making grandma subsist on cat food. Meanwhile, most of the conservatives I know are generally depressed, and for good reason: they are being forced to vote for a wealthy flip-flopping Republican for president they dislike only a little less than Obama; they are losing ground on domestic issues, especially with their wives and daughters; they suspect the Democrats are constantly outwitting them; they are bored with the endless repetitions of the right-wing media machine and are beginning to see through some of their own shabby propaganda; and they are still cowering at night at home in their beds of ‘unnamable, faceless dreads’ that constantly barrage their limited imaginations courtesy of their huge amygdalas, the mental repository of irrational fear and pop-eyed panic. Must be hell, but I think it is mostly self-imposed and even curable.

RIGHT BRAIN/LEFT BRAIN

A study at University College London in the UK has found that conservatives’ brains have larger amygdalas than the brains of liberals. Amygdalas are responsible for fear and other ‘primitive’ emotions. At the same time, conservatives’ brains were also found to have a smaller anterior cingulate — the part of the brain responsible for courage and optimism.

If the study is confirmed, it could give us the first medical explanation for why conservatives tend to be more receptive to threats of terrorism, for example, than liberals. And it may help to explain why conservatives like to plan based on the worst-case scenario, while liberals tend towards rosier outlooks.
— From Phil Proctor, Planet Proctor

 

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Weird Pix for April 24, 2012

1. I’m not fluent in any other language but English (and some would contest that point), but I have been told by ‘furriners’ that English is one of the hardest and most complex languages to master. This is likely part of the reason why:

2. Speaking of language, I’m not sure if this would strictly qualify as dyslexia, but it’s funny anyway:

3. A cartoon of acrid, brown-aired truth. How have we descended so far?

4. What half-sane thief would steal any Ferrari? They’d be easy to find — the joyrider would have to take it up to 180 on the highway no matter what color it was, so they’d be easy to find, if not catch immediately. (Someone told me of a case in California where some fool stole a Maserati and the cops couldn’t catch him. They didn’t try that hard — they just monitored the car with a helicopter and called ahead to apprehend the carjacker when he ran out of gas, which didn’t take long. I understand the car belonged to a judge. Uh oh.)

5. This picture reminds me of the Republican Party — sheep with veggie brains listening to a big tomato with glasses. (I’d like to give an artist’s credit, but I couldn’t find one.)

6. Another reminder of the GOP:

7. Finally, a cellphone for hipsters who have a new one!

8. The miracles of our modern age — but why isn’t this guy laying down on the couch? Sitting up just seems to be too much trouble, and look what it does to your hair!

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