What’s that joke about Alabama keeping last-in-the-nation-in-nearly-everything Mississippi around to make itself feel better? Here’s the truth behind that little jape. Try to refrain from slapping your forehead too often and giving yourself a splitting headache. From the March 9, 2012 edition of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher”:
H/T to Scott Wendt.
Some bad Mississippi jokes:
Q: Hear about the Mississippi man who lost $100 on a football game?
A: He lost $50 on the game and $50 on the instant replay!
Q: Did you hear that M&M candy had to move its plant out of MS?
A: The Mississippi workers kept throwing out all the ‘W’s’.
Q: Did you hear about the Mississippian who won a Gold Medal at the Olympic Games?
A: He was so proud of it he had it bronzed!
Q: Why aren’t there many pharmacists in MS?
A: They can’t figure out how to put the medicine bottles in the printer!
Q. What is the definition of safe sex down in Mississippi?
A. Putting a warning sign on the horses that kick.
Q: How do they castrate a man in Mississippi?
A: They smack his sister in the jaw.
Q: What is 100 yards long and has six teeth?
A: The Mississippi state legislature.
Q: What did the daughter call her Mississippi sheepherder father?
A: Daaaaaaaaaaaady.
Q: Why was the MS intellectual proud of finishing a jigsaw puzzle in one year?
A: The box said ‘six years and up.’
Q: What do Mississippians say when encountering a vicious racist?
A: “Howdy, neighbor!”