13 Reasons to Vote Republican

13 Reasons To Vote Republican

by Jimbo
Posted to Sodahead
February 23, 2012

1. I voted Republican because you can blame problems on poor people instead of the rich ones who actually run things.

2. I voted Republican because firefighters and teachers are scum-sucking leeches, but the oil companies raking in record profits NEED those hundreds of millions in taxpayer subsidies.

3. I voted Republican because I believe companies like my cable TV provider, insurance company and credit card company could do a better job running the country than the government, no matter how much they screw me over.

4. I voted Republican because I don’t trust the government, although I favored the government spying on my health/financial records and tapping my phone when Bush was in office to keep us safe from ‘trrists.

5. I voted Republican because I don’t really care whether terrorists, murderers and drug dealers own guns or not.

6. I voted Republican because I believe climate change doesn’t exist; if I can’t see it with my own two eyes, it doesn’t exist. Like gravity.

7. I voted Republican because I hate women having abortions, but once the baby is born and dies from a preventable illness that’ okay.

8. I voted Republican because I believe in laying off workers to boost profits; then I get to complain about lazy unemployed people.

9. I voted Republican because I understand capitalism. Demand doesn’t increase jobs…ensuring corporations pay no taxes and cutting healthcare and education does.

10. I voted Republican because I care about the deficit and support cutting services that I really need. But extra tax cuts for the super rich that actually caused the deficit should be extended indefinitely.

11. I voted Republican because I believe in never having to solve any problems in the government because I insist government is the problem anyway.

12. I voted Republican because I hate activist judges, unless they are conservative (Yes, corporations should get to spend unlimited money in elections).

13. I voted Republican because spite and fear is better than hope and change.

A cut & paste from the Daily Kos [by Jimbo].