Cain ‘Suspends’ Comedy Tour

Without a hint of regard for his faithful fans among comedy writers, cartoonists, satirists, wags and other humor-providers, political funnyman “Pee Wee” Herman Cain uproariously suspended his ‘presidential campaign’ this afternoon at an event in Atlanta, Georgia.

Speaking to a crowd of a few hundred, Cain fought to keep a straight face while claiming he manfully owned up to his flaws and failures in the past as boisterous laughter rang across the land, many of his audience recalling his jest: “I have never done anything inappropriate to anyone ever.” Behind him on the stage, his wife Gloria was also spotted stifling a chuckle.

Cain, whose act is impersonating a clueless blowhard jackass, closed his set with his standard shtick of blaming the media for all his woes, while amusingly vowing he represents ‘we the people’ with his poll numbers running at 8 percent in Iowa and 10 percent in Florida.

Even before Cain’s announcement, hilarity heavyweights like Jon Stewart of The Daily Show were bemoaning the end of Cain’s campaign: “I’ve already lost Trump,” Stewart lamented on air, “I can’t lose you!” And there is no doubt Cain’s withdrawal will have a deleterious impact on the nation’s strategic laughter stockpile, as well. An anonymous source high in the councils of clownery confided, “If Newt, Mitt, Bachmann and Santorum take a powder, what’s left? We’re going to have to resurrect old Bush jokes!”

There are those who have doubted that Herman’s ‘candidacy’ for president was intended solely for satiric purposes; to them I say look at the sign on the side of Cain’s campaign bus; it reads, “Follow Me.”

As Stewart says in the video below, Cain was the “goose that laid the golden egg” and, now, the laying has come to an end, so to speak. The entertainment world will miss this much-maligned comic genius as he fades into obscurity.

Copyright 2011 RS Janes. www.bigfishink.com

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